I find myself reading so many article about being a man, human, over all a good person, and it seems that I took a huge leap. Just to find out that I have a ways to go, but that doesn’t seem to stop me one bit. Building oneself is hard work, it takes time. Lately that’s all I have time.

All this started when I fell in love, and it was quite deep. At first I blamed myself, I thought something was seriously wrong. So like most guys I wanted to fix it. I dug down deep just found that it wasn’t me,or her but the moment in time. We were all different people, different ages and different mind set. Something wasn’t going to go well for someone. Even through all this I did gain a lot of sweet memories. Some of which I can’t seem to let go even if I had all the time in the world. I’m really grateful for the experiences during the period of time.

Even this blog is testament of how far I’ve come since then. While looking back all of the major issue didn’t start during that time is just exploded like a volcano at the point. I put most of my hopes on one person when it came to a romantic relationship. One important woman even told me, I need to be more aggressive in some ways. I was afraid to do that because I had a hard time controlling my anger (the excuse I told myself). I was being to pleasing, kind, a nice guy; when I should have been a good man. A man with standards, backbone, toughness, and also have heart, kindness, the ability to be open. I still struggle with my weakness, like not calling, speaking up for people to hear me. I’m really building on those. That’s what people do we grow a little stronger than what we were yesterday. So over all I’ve grown and the growth has made me stronger, and better.

Down pour

I’ve been up for quite some time, a steady stream of raindrop has taking my thoughts to another place. The gentle rapping and tapping on window has cause the chambers door of my soul to open. The door open with so much force I fall on my back. Then a gentle hush washes over me. I want to believe deep down it’s like a hurricane blasting away at my core. Then the calm of the storm hovers above me. The only constant is the down pour outside my window.


My shell might be falling apart, and fractures are appearing on the surface from time to time. That doesn’t mean my core is failing, it just means that I’m growing. We all grow, its at what speed we grow. I might be cracked now, but I’m always whole.

The Chase

A simple scent of her perfume overwhelmed me with it’s gentle call. Blindfolded I couldn’t see her beautiful figure, but I knew that she was close. Trying with frustration to calm my inner passion for her, so that I can pursue and catch her in the right place and time. Step by step this elusive creature taunts me with her laughter and slightest touch. Even Stumbling about like a drunkard will not keep me from my goal, she laughs even harder. Laughing at myself I state “this won’t that funny when I catch you, I don’t think I can stop myself but I will catch you.” She continues to escape my grasp; just nearly, while I continue the pursuit.

Hearing her foot steps ever so slightly falling on the floor like a cat stalking if prey. I ran towards that sound with such speed and vigor I felt like a Lion finally getting it claws on it dinner. She was startled by the sudden rush of my body against her; so much so, a yelp escaped her lips then a laugh that
quelled that yelp. Gotcha: no more, running no more hiding. Her body pinned in the corner she had no place to go. While standing there breathing heavily all my senses became to be heighten. I felt her warm body moving closer to mine. Her arms wrapped around my torso like a snake wrapping around a tree. She pulled me in closer to her at the same time her nails began to embed themselves in to my back. I bit my bottom lip to counter act the pain/ecstasy that she gave me.

With that sign she escaped from my grasp. The game began again. I cursed myself because I fell for her tricks once again. Now she hold the power in this game that we play. All I heard was you lost your prey, come get me. This taunt infuriated me even more. I felt a burning down deep in the pits of my stomach. This passionate feeling rushed over me like a blazing forest fire. I couldn’t stay calm this time, I wanted her now there and then. Nothing could stop me from the goal I set for myself. The only problem was I didn’t hear any sound, just the soft breeze that brought her scent with it.

The smell of sunflowers was so close that I could engulf it. The smell was so calming I forgot the forest fire blazing in my heart, but not the passion the fed it. Spzzzt. That what I heard from directly behind me. More of that sunflower scent tickled my nose. I turned toward that sounds and began to follow it slowly. An soft word drifted on the wind to my ear that said closer, with one arm I swung to the sound of  word, it was knocked away by her hand. Closer! she said again. I moved even more slowly fearing another distraction. Closer even more softly but very close. At that moment I stopped and stood still not moving an inch. I knew that she was close, so waited for her move. Spzzzt sound again.

This time it was followed by a gentle mist that landed on my chest. In that instance I could feel each droplet down my bear chest. I still didn’t move, she on the other hand did. I felt a finger moving across my upper body, searching every hill and valley that it had. Then a palm over my heart, a touch the seemed the quell  that forest fire burning in my heart. Still I didn’t move. Closer she stepped towards me, now she was the fire that need to quelled up. I took her hand into mine and pulled her toward me.  I lifted her head to kiss her so deeply, that she melted in my arms. Still blind folded I scooped her up.

Kings and Authors

My will shatters swords and shakes spears

You should call my Author because

My pen creates flames like a dragon

Soaring the skies like a hawk

Surveying the land like a King

Spreading my insights and thoughts

Posting on them walls and doors

Teaching truth and love

Thats most definitely the way to live